Click here for the twisting instructions for the umbrella

My patter will be in blue. The children's replies will be in red.

Take out a yellow balloon and start pumping it up.
For this model I will use a nice blue balloon
Yellow
That's what I said blue
Yellow
Well, it was yellow but I just blue it up
Place balloon under arm take out purple and start pumping.
A green one
Purple
No it is green because this balloon uses recycled toilet paper
(The kid's who don't get the green bit of the joke laugh at the toilet paper bit, anyhow. Some people may complain about the toilet humour just tell them sorry you just had to get it out of your cistern).
Place under arm   and get started on the red one
and a nice long white one
Red
Well, has this balloon got any holes in it?
No
Well, it's all white (right) then isn't it?
Gather up the balloons and twist them all together in the center (as in figure 1 on instructions) and say which clever person can guess what I'm making.
After a few guesses someone will guess at an octopus. Hold all the legs together about three inches from the twist , squeeze a little and sway (figure 2) . If no-one guesses octopus in the first place doing this will ensure they do.
Yes it could be an octopus couldn't it. Aaaaargh, WATCH OUT FOR THE OCTOPUS
Step towards the children pushing the 'legs' toward them. This always produces much giggling and screaming. (If your audience is particularly young or shy you may always pretend the octopus is attacking yourself instead. I've never found that I have to do this but it could be just as funny if played right)
Well, actually it's not an octopus so keep guessing.
Continue making the umbrella while they guess (figures 3 And 4).
Start giving out bad clues like something you might find on a beach (or a golf course?) until you are getting close to the end then tell them
It's something you take out with you when it's raining
To this you will get loads shout of umbrella from them all
A what?
An umbrella
A what?
An umbrella
No you're all wrong, it's an umbrella
Then give them a big grin as they all complain that that is what they said.
well since you all guessed what it was at the same time we'll have a competition to see who gets the umbrella.
Who can make a noise like rain
Make a rain noise yourself and make rain movements with your hands and fingers. the children will all copy.
What about some wind
Blow and the kids will copy, pretend that you are being blown over backwards. (prepare to be covered in accidental spittle, too)
Thunder?
Pretend to be scared of the thunder
Lightning.
Hmm. lets try the rain again.
Pick a girl who's doing a good rain impression and tell everyone how well she is doing rain impressions and announce you will give the umbrella to her.
Do you like barbie?
Yes
Well, lets make this a nice barbie umbrella. Do you like pink
Yes
Pink to make the boys wink?
Blow up a pink heart and attach it to the top of the umbrella, hand it to the child and go on to your next routine.

Mr Fizzy routine which have simply been adapted to create a more consistent balloon orientated effect.Although this is basically a routine for a show there are lots of little quick effects and bits of business which you can use on there own as a quick restaurant routine. The routine basically goes like this: A cardboard box is shown to be empty and is said to represent a pond. A balloon frog is shown (or made) and the performer tries to put the frog into the pond. The frog keeps hopping out of the pond. The performer consults the frog and finds out the reason the frog doesn't want to stay in the pond is that it is scared of the big fish that lives in the pond. A child is selected to play the fisherman. A fishing rod is constructed with help from the audience. The child first catches a small fish then to everyone's surprise a larger fish is produced.

Apparatus

A balloon frog: Before the performance make your favourite frog. It will help the working of this routine if you can ,using a magic pipe or your own skills, put a bouncy ball into the tail or feet of the frog.
A balloon fish: As before make you favourite fish. This fish can't be to wide. I use a simple one balloon fish but add white eyes with a scrap of white. The fish is hidden (prior to the performance)in the secret compartment you will read about later on.
A balloon fishing rod: I will describe how to make this as we go you will need two 260's, a bee-bodies and a white or red heart. Have all these easily accessible before you start. The pond: This is simply a large cardboard box with a false bottom (as well as real bottom not instead of). Coat the inside of the box with black paper. Make a false bottom also out of card with black paper stuck to it. You may need to add ledges inside the box to set the false bottom on. Play around with it until you find out what works for you. The fish is put in the box then covered with the false bottom. The false layer should be a tight enough fit to a)not be noticed when you tip the box up b) not tip over when the box is tipped. Make a small hole in the side of the box under the false bottom to flip the flap up with your finger. The outside of the box can either be painted in a pondy kind of a way or you could put loops of elastic around the edges and insert lots of green 260's around the outside for a reedy effect.


Method and Patter

My patter will be in blue.I haven't included all the patter in this one as you should try out what works for yourself. I have included some lines for particular parts of the trick that go down very well.
Introduce the frog to the audience (give him a name). Ask the children where a frog lives and congratulate them on there answers. when someone shouts out "a pond" bring forward your pond. tell the children that the frog is very tired and you're going to put him back into the pond for a snooze.
Pick up the box in your left hand and hold the frog in your right. As you're putting the frog into the box flip him out with the fingers of your right hand. This flipping action is done just with the hand while it is hidden from view in the box it should be done while the arm is still seen to be going into the box.The whole illusion of this is based around the fact that the frog is jumping out while you are seen to be forcing him in. Practise this move in front of a mirror, you will be surprised how convincing it looks after a bit of practise. (When I perform this move many of the children are convinced there is a hidden spring in the box.)The bouncy ball gives the model enough weight to make this move possible. Continue several times to get the frog into the box getting more and more exasperated each time. When he flies from the box you can either bring your right hand out quickly and catch him in mid-air or let him bounce on the floor. Make sure he doesn't bounce towards the audience or you may loose your frog.
How many times you repeat this moves depends on the reaction of the audience. Done right the children will get more and more amused each time.
Ask the frog why he doesn't want to go into his pond and announce
The frog says he doesn't want to go into the pond because there is a big fish in the pond. what rubbish can anyone see a fish in the pond. Tip the box up to show the children inside the box and they will tell you (and the frog) about the lack of fish present within.
Well, Mr frog is sure there is a fish in there, so would anyone like to come up and help me get the fish out of the box for him? Well, lets pick someone who can make a noise like a frog
Pick someone who's ribbeting nicely to come up and help you. Ask them their name and if they've ever been fishing before. Some may claim to have gone fishing with their fathers/grandfathers etc which can lead to a few good ad-libs (especially later on when the small fish is produced). Tell the child your going to make him a fisherman so ask the children
What do you use to catch a fish?. If someone says "a net" I like the line Well, we could use a net but she couldn't make it today.... In the end they tell you "a rod" blow up a 260.As you build the rod hand various bits and bobs to your helper. Ask them what else goes on a rod. Prompt them to say a "reel" and apple twist a bee-body then split it in half to make the reel and attach to rod. When they say string or line tie the other 260 (uninflated) to the end. They'll soon start shouting about a hook and asks what goes on the hook. You should get lots of funny answers so play about with them. Announce Well, the frog has told me you can catch a fish with a potato Blow a little air into a white heart to represent a potato pull the knot towards the nozzle while tightening it. (Tomato:red heart). The kids will be telling you you can't catch fish with potatoes (ignore them, what do they know?).Tie the potato to the end of the line. A nice quick bit of business here is to put the rod under your right arm and try and catch the string with your right hand you'll find the string will move away from your hand as your hand moves towards it, chase the string backwards and forwards a bit until you get your helper to help. Let the child go fishing in the 'pond'. Get him to raise it out of the box twice to see if he's caught anything. The third time catch the fish with your hand and change it into a fish under the guise of directing it into the box. The secret to changing the potato into a fish is to squeeze the air into the neck of the balloon. Practise this at home you need just the right amount of air and a nice clean squeezing technique.
Point out how small the fish is and tell the frog off for being scared of a tiddler. Untie/cut off the fish and put it aside. Pick the box up and secretly flick the false bottom up (do this under the guise of checking for more fish). Tell the volunteer to have one last fish. Grab the end of the 260 and attach it to the fishes lips (practice so you can do this 1-handed). As you're pulling on the line to attach it tell them look there's a fish pulling on the line.. The children will tell you that you're pulling on the line. This is an important bit of business because if the children see you fiddling about in the box they may guess you're up to something this line means they think you're trying to fool them by pulling on the string so psychological misguides their suspicions. When the fish is attached say Yes ,you're right it was just me pulling on it there is no fish in this box as you say this you pull the box away so the child is left standing with a big fish on the end of the rod. Pretend not to notice it. The kids will shout and the young fisherman will probably dangle the fish in front of your face. Be very surprised. Get applause for your volunteer. Send him away with a smile and a fishing rod.


Sword and Dog routine
Introduction

This routine consists of the appropriate patter while you balance a balloon sword on your nose and twist a poodle behind your back. Sounds complicated? Not to worry , it's a lot easier than it sounds but does require a little practise. A cool thing that happens when performing this effect is that you will find for the rest of the your time at an event you will spot kids all over the place trying to copy you. Many of them will get quite good at balancing swords on there noses. Make sure you spot them and congratulate them or even pretend that they might pinch your job.
Another good aspect of this routine is that any adults watching will appreciate your talent and you will often get spontaneous rounds of applause.
This routine can be performed in your show or as a quick routine while doing walk-about. I even find it works well for restaurants as people from other tables will stop and watch.
You can't do it out-side though unless there is no wind what-so-ever, watch out for air-conditioning and ceiling fans indoors, too.

Apparatus

2 X 260's any colour

Method and Patter

My patter will be in blue.
Set about making a sword and say Hands up who has seen a balloon man/woman make a sword before before?
Lot of hands go up. Finish off your sword and say
Hmm, that must be too easy. What about if I make a dog I bet nobody has ever seen a balloon man make a dog before
The children disagree
While this is happening blow up a balloon the right amount to make a poodle then say
O.K., how about I make a french poodle, they're really hard to do because you have to make them in foreign
The children still disagree
O.K., how about this, I make a french poodle BEHIND MY BACK!!
You will get a better response this time but a few will still be saying that that is easy. So with some bravado and amazement in your voice now claim you will Make a balloon French poodle BEHIND MY BACK while I balance the balloon sword ON MY NOSE
This will produce a mixed reaction from your audience. Ranging from kids saying that you will never be able to do it to other kid's saying that they could do that in there sleep!! Carry on regardless. First tell them not too giggle as this puts you off. Then when about too place sword on nose exaggerate a peculiar pose. (I stick my bum out). This sets a few of them giggling . Look up, look aghast and give them a shh. This will result in more giggling next time. You can have fun now trying to stop them giggling as one kid stops another one will start. done with the right comic expressions they will all be giggling (much to your pretend dismay) in a while.
Now balance the sword on your nose and twist the poodle behind your back.
The key to balancing the sword on your nose is to focus your eyes on the top of it. Also practise putting it on your nose upright so you don't have to start off with it falling over. With a bit of practise you will find you can balance it with minimal head movement. It will get so it looks like it is stuck there and you may even want to wiggle your head a bit to make it look harder
The key to making a dog behind your back is knowing how much balloon you are using and how much you have left. While making the poodle run your hand up the balloon between each set of twists to give yourself an idea of how much you have to twist with. You will find twisting behind your back a lot easier than expected since ,if you have been doing a lot of twisting anyhow, your hands will automatically twist the balloon correctly. If you find it tricky start off doing it with a simple three twist poodle. After a bit of practise you will find you can twist most single balloon models behind the back.
While doing this bit you can make daft remarks like the balloon must be stuck on my nose with bubble-gum or pretend that the giggling is making it harder. Getting them laughing is also a good way to stop them blowing at the sword which does make things harder. Also make sure you establish earlier in your act that no uninvited running unto stage is allowed. If you are entertaining a particularly rowdy bunch of kids and get the feeling that they wouldn't think twice about coming up and pushing you skip this routine as it does leave you quite vulnerable.
When you have made the poodle blow the sword off your nose and swing round with the poodle in your hand in time to pluck the sword from the air.
Have the kids do pirate impressions to compete for the sword and puppy impressions for the poodle.

Burnt